In this superficial world,
U may think thats all you get from what you see.
I am definitely not as SIMPLE as what you think,
Neither do I wish to live up to your expectations
So whatever you read,
And whether U like it or not,
It's none of my business to care..no matter how hard u try to make me.;P
Sunday, September 16, 2007
sermon by pastor Glenn todae was really impactful..
it makes me rethink abt my life and set my piorities straight.
to make a clean cut between personal life and work.
but if u kw me well enuff,when im into getting work done,i will not stop..there muz b this pushin force or someone to ask me to relax.
hence,if i do happen to spend more time slacking and relaxing than i used to,i will began to think it through and hurt ppl by stop spending wat supposingly quality time wif them..
really sorry to u ppl that i haf hurt.it is juz me and my stupid career/work mindedness which i cant change..or u cld call it extreme KIASU-ISM..
thus,i haf concluded tat in order to prevent this feelin from evolving soo rapidly,i shld take on a military job or civil service to work my ass off than sitting in the office 24-7 to finish up work.:)
thats all for now..really tired.
went to church,did 3 lit essay outlines,2lit annotations and 1 GP compre..
not being hardworking..seriously.its nv enuff.
not when midcourse is in 11daes!!!!!!
gt maths and I and R to do ttmr..sigh.
11:31 PM
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
oh my oh my........
i am so amazing!!!!havent blog for ages..
sorry readers!!!my sincere apologies..
been really bz wif sch and everything..noticed that i haf been feelin sick or moody these few wks..either go home early or juz emo by myself.
lets juz sae..i was gerry-dified the whole of last wk,my poor gal haf been absent for tat wk due to stomach flu.missed her alot...and i haf been feelin really moody too..cld b the time of the mth or juz restless and stressed..
do u kw???midcourse is coming in 22 daes!!!!!!!!!ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i ponned thursdae last wk to study wif kian but wat the hell?was down wif flu on wed and had that time of the mth on thurs wif terrible cramps..all the same,defeats the purpose of me completin more revision..
in replace,i decided to chiong tis september holidaes as much as i cld..completing at least 2subj each dae,either short practices for math or econs essay outlines..
alrdy submitted two lit essays to ms yap,i hope she can mark them soon and send it back..wanna kw my mistakes b4 doing other practices..
yea..kian and i are also cultivating a habit to go for a morning jog b4 we start the dae..either alternate daes or every sat mornings..that is if we cant keep up wif time by over-sleeping!hahs..join us?
shit...im beginning to sub-consciously go back to that feeling..that feelin that im fat.i was once anoerexic in sec2..as in i jog,exercise and did everything to lose the layers..my plate of rice never reached half the plate full.veggies feel up the space..lost 4kg in 2mths.to my frens,i looked really sick,my eyes were bulging and my chubby cheeks was improportionate to my body..my parents were soo worried..literally forced food into me.
well..i paid the price,down wif a history of gastric problems in my medical records..the doctor warned me tat if i starved again,i will b in the hospital.
but i seriously cant help it..i blamed my chubby cheeks..its so round that even when i may be at the healthy weight range,i seem to get the feelin that im fat,even till now..haiz..
i gta confessed..that even though i mayb happy and cheery in the surface all the time and alwaes be saeing egoistical stuff like..see,im gd!
but in fact,i haf a really low self-esteem..im really affected by wat ppl sae..they cld b juz joking and i cld laugh abt it but i will show it when im alone or wif ppl i trust..only God kws,i suppose.
another thing,i gta sae is tt...its alrite.only for ppl who r close to me wld kw wat
im abt to sae,wat i wld tell them.juz wanna sae,my personal life will b startin quite afresh rite now.smses will shoot up from now on.;)
8:45 PM
