Goodbye,Cinderella......thats just the old me who came and gone away
In this superficial world,
U may think thats all you get from what you see.
I am definitely not as SIMPLE as what you think,
Neither do I wish to live up to your expectations
So whatever you read,
And whether U like it or not,
It's none of my business to care..no matter how hard u try to make me.;P
Monday, March 31, 2008
hey guys!!!! wats sup yo? as i promised..the poems..these sorta sums up my emotions during the daes i havent updated the blog.the emotional turmoil i went thru..
Hurt.18th mar08
Hurt,is like this desolated heart.. that is left to engulf this complicated world. Pain..is what this little heart is going through. Every traces,every part is to be trampled,stamped and slained. Anguish painfully wallow its soul,its body and its mind.
A Mind already filled with remorse,guilt,shame,and agony from the river of love. the river of love..never ending,ever brimming.. not of sweetness,not of happiness.. but rather,the overshadowing of darkness,sorrow and death.
Give it time,some may say. this is just life paving its way But have anyone ever considered... the hurt,the anguish and the extreme pain this little heart is going through? the overwhelming grief it is experiencing inside? that emotional turmoil,those little bits of chaos fighting its way out? every single day,every single second?! Make it stop!make it stop! all the voices everywhere baffled and drowned off the faded sounds of this tiny bitsy little thing. Slowly,painfully..life eats the way of the little heart. Chaos found its way out. this little heart...ceased into existence.
dun worry,ppl..this poem was written by me at my lowest point when i was totally melancholic over things..but its OVER now!!!TRULY GOD"S GRACE:)
damn the freaking com is still spoiled..or at least there is no music.which suxz no idea wat ms samantha koh wee ping did with the com..ahhhhhhhhhhhh!i kidda lost my pics and the msn display pics too..ahh,was sooooo deprived that i haf to log in to photobucket to look at pics of me and him and my other frens.. dun worry..its not that i miz him or anything. well..at least, not as much as during the march hols when we werent talking la we r cool wif ourselves now..:) it was worthwhile gg for taekwondo trng after 3.2km road run..really worth it.. thank God i went tooo!! or i wld probably miz out the last time we will ever ignore the world ard us and juz co-exist together,poking...teasing..playing..impersonating..good times,good times.
dont worry,we r best frens NOW..we'll see after alevels,dun worry..
he said sth else which really moved me..shant tell u unless u ask.heh,for me to kw,for u to find out. i was truly touched and comforted by these words.tears. i didnt need to hear it from u though.i was alrdy cool wif things abt u not tellin me..coz i trust u but thanks.:)
anyway...back to reality.errrrrgh!!!block tests grades.i haf woken up,jumped off the bed,baby.
10:03 PM
Friday, March 21, 2008
im at reagan hse now..lol my com...lets not talk abt it. for all times,my sis chose to use now to reformat the bloody com using her ite knowledge..zzz..1st yr la.use my com to experiment.
block test juz officially ended for me..reagan,janet,joshy and i decided to go on a movie marathon..first at joshy's hse then reagan hse.. wat the hell?!lit paper pc was both abt love.. one set of poems were abt marriage(-_-) which i cant do coz i would probably not find the courage to do so.. the other was abt the art of losing..losing someone precious.damn! its alrite..im fine.the exam is over. den janet decided to watch:i m legend,which was soo emo..i left halfway to fetch joey home and avoid the movie. we watched little man next..super funny!brighten up my day;) then i came to reagan hse to watch alien vs predator two..lol,i love the gore. yup//suppose to hand up fast and fresh script but wat the heck?i cant log in.
its the most vernerable and transitional period to talk abt us now..i dun wish to do so too..like wat everyone says,its best to sae nothing when theres nothing good to talk abt..comfortable solance. i will upload a certain poem soon..sth i haf been writing this few daes. yup. c u guys.
12:06 AM
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
and between now and then, till i see u again... i'll b loving u love,me hey.. well,i guess that family issue u are encountering is seriously blowing u off ur head.. i dun wish to force it out from u further,yea? guess u juz need some time to sort out ur life and family issues.. no worries.. im rather comfortable moving on wif life. u take care,ya?i c u on friday night at taekwondo.;) smiling hopefully.
phew!!!!i m juz counting my blessings la..i love kiran i love bhuva i love yenling i love alex i love grace i love gerry i love val and adzlynn,ryan i love 0743B i love drama mamas i love MY FRIENDS in general. without them, i doubt i will survive this term n all the emotional turmoils i went thru...would haf caused anyone to be suicidal isn it wonderful?i havent been late and nv been absent for the whole term!!10weeks!!! lol..incredible. juz contented for all my frens..zzzz alevel chinese result on fri and GP block test...AHHHH
11:03 PM
Saturday, March 1, 2008
HEY yo! i am glad we r finally talking again two daes ago.it was really awkward at first coz u kept asking for unnecessary things like some person in sch.thou shall not mention the name.juz happy that we thought things thru and the time we had away frm each other worked for awhile..i was super hyper after drama playwriting course ytd..lol,from 2.30 to 6plus,which kidda made my day alot more better when i go for taekwondo at nite.hahs.:) u had the runs and spent 15mins of our precious taekwondo time in the toilet.u werent even looking at me when i stroll in late but after ur diarrhea,u smiled at me and broke off the tension between us.being as crazy as usual,i was making the little kids and marcus and leonard laugh over stupid things while u struggled to remember ur pattern..haha,wif that "i feel lost and blur" face u alwaes give me when u attempt to melt my heart.zzz,before blaming it on me for starting that silly face on u. when we r on our way home,kianleong was soo sweet to even listen to me and walked ahead of us juz so i cld talk to u alone. guessed we both need time to adapt to our complicated relationship and talking abt random stuff which happens in sch juz ease away the tension.:) u apologized to me in advance in case u snapped at me anytime when we meet every morning.i understand.theres probably some problems which u r facing by urself..not regarding me(as u often reassured me)that u r not comfortable to talk abt yet.its alrite.i m sure u will confide in me when the time comes. even though i alwaes have a hectic friday night rushing from sch to taekwondo b4 coming home again to the dark hdb flat where my sisters and parents only come home after 11. u completed my day,kianhow.thank u. even as a bestie,u held on tightly to my hand and lay a gentle kiss at it. we hugged after we meet and b4 we sae goodbye. how i often give u a little peck on the cheek after we hugged and u playfully tries to resist it and saying,"i cant put tis(relationship) down now if u continue doing that." well..sorry man,i cant help it.love seeing u getting bullied..by me.hahs to conclude,i dun need a man to survive. but i do need LOVE to keep me alive..friendship,kinship or juz pure sheer innocent love. u said u will have such a "wonderful" life in ur new class but i sae..time will pass very fast as long as u keep in mind that im the first u see every morning. i'll try to be that sunshine over ur cloudy day as much as i can. juz shower me wif care and love like wat u did yesterday..THE LEAP YEAR.29february08 i haf gaven up trying to describe our relationship now..lets juz agree and call it,COMPLICATED. reply my letters!;)my 'special fren.'
hey guys!!!! wats sup yo? as i promised..the poems..these sorta sums up my emotions during the daes i havent updated the blog.the emotional turmoil i went thru..
Hurt.18th mar08
Hurt,is like this desolated heart.. that is left to engulf this complicated world. Pain..is what this little heart is going through. Every traces,every part is to be trampled,stamped and slained. Anguish painfully wallow its soul,its body and its mind.
A Mind already filled with remorse,guilt,shame,and agony from the river of love. the river of love..never ending,ever brimming.. not of sweetness,not of happiness.. but rather,the overshadowing of darkness,sorrow and death.
Give it time,some may say. this is just life paving its way But have anyone ever considered... the hurt,the anguish and the extreme pain this little heart is going through? the overwhelming grief it is experiencing inside? that emotional turmoil,those little bits of chaos fighting its way out? every single day,every single second?! Make it stop!make it stop! all the voices everywhere baffled and drowned off the faded sounds of this tiny bitsy little thing. Slowly,painfully..life eats the way of the little heart. Chaos found its way out. this little heart...ceased into existence.
dun worry,ppl..this poem was written by me at my lowest point when i was totally melancholic over things..but its OVER now!!!TRULY GOD"S GRACE:)
damn the freaking com is still spoiled..or at least there is no music.which suxz no idea wat ms samantha koh wee ping did with the com..ahhhhhhhhhhhh!i kidda lost my pics and the msn display pics too..ahh,was sooooo deprived that i haf to log in to photobucket to look at pics of me and him and my other frens.. dun worry..its not that i miz him or anything. well..at least, not as much as during the march hols when we werent talking la we r cool wif ourselves now..:) it was worthwhile gg for taekwondo trng after 3.2km road run..really worth it.. thank God i went tooo!! or i wld probably miz out the last time we will ever ignore the world ard us and juz co-exist together,poking...teasing..playing..impersonating..good times,good times.
dont worry,we r best frens NOW..we'll see after alevels,dun worry..
he said sth else which really moved me..shant tell u unless u ask.heh,for me to kw,for u to find out. i was truly touched and comforted by these words.tears. i didnt need to hear it from u though.i was alrdy cool wif things abt u not tellin me..coz i trust u but thanks.:)
anyway...back to reality.errrrrgh!!!block tests grades.i haf woken up,jumped off the bed,baby.
10:03 PM
Friday, March 21, 2008
im at reagan hse now..lol my com...lets not talk abt it. for all times,my sis chose to use now to reformat the bloody com using her ite knowledge..zzz..1st yr la.use my com to experiment.
block test juz officially ended for me..reagan,janet,joshy and i decided to go on a movie marathon..first at joshy's hse then reagan hse.. wat the hell?!lit paper pc was both abt love.. one set of poems were abt marriage(-_-) which i cant do coz i would probably not find the courage to do so.. the other was abt the art of losing..losing someone precious.damn! its alrite..im fine.the exam is over. den janet decided to watch:i m legend,which was soo emo..i left halfway to fetch joey home and avoid the movie. we watched little man next..super funny!brighten up my day;) then i came to reagan hse to watch alien vs predator two..lol,i love the gore. yup//suppose to hand up fast and fresh script but wat the heck?i cant log in.
its the most vernerable and transitional period to talk abt us now..i dun wish to do so too..like wat everyone says,its best to sae nothing when theres nothing good to talk abt..comfortable solance. i will upload a certain poem soon..sth i haf been writing this few daes. yup. c u guys.
12:06 AM
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
and between now and then, till i see u again... i'll b loving u love,me hey.. well,i guess that family issue u are encountering is seriously blowing u off ur head.. i dun wish to force it out from u further,yea? guess u juz need some time to sort out ur life and family issues.. no worries.. im rather comfortable moving on wif life. u take care,ya?i c u on friday night at taekwondo.;) smiling hopefully.
phew!!!!i m juz counting my blessings la..i love kiran i love bhuva i love yenling i love alex i love grace i love gerry i love val and adzlynn,ryan i love 0743B i love drama mamas i love MY FRIENDS in general. without them, i doubt i will survive this term n all the emotional turmoils i went thru...would haf caused anyone to be suicidal isn it wonderful?i havent been late and nv been absent for the whole term!!10weeks!!! lol..incredible. juz contented for all my frens..zzzz alevel chinese result on fri and GP block test...AHHHH
11:03 PM
Saturday, March 1, 2008
HEY yo! i am glad we r finally talking again two daes ago.it was really awkward at first coz u kept asking for unnecessary things like some person in sch.thou shall not mention the name.juz happy that we thought things thru and the time we had away frm each other worked for awhile..i was super hyper after drama playwriting course ytd..lol,from 2.30 to 6plus,which kidda made my day alot more better when i go for taekwondo at nite.hahs.:) u had the runs and spent 15mins of our precious taekwondo time in the toilet.u werent even looking at me when i stroll in late but after ur diarrhea,u smiled at me and broke off the tension between us.being as crazy as usual,i was making the little kids and marcus and leonard laugh over stupid things while u struggled to remember ur pattern..haha,wif that "i feel lost and blur" face u alwaes give me when u attempt to melt my heart.zzz,before blaming it on me for starting that silly face on u. when we r on our way home,kianleong was soo sweet to even listen to me and walked ahead of us juz so i cld talk to u alone. guessed we both need time to adapt to our complicated relationship and talking abt random stuff which happens in sch juz ease away the tension.:) u apologized to me in advance in case u snapped at me anytime when we meet every morning.i understand.theres probably some problems which u r facing by urself..not regarding me(as u often reassured me)that u r not comfortable to talk abt yet.its alrite.i m sure u will confide in me when the time comes. even though i alwaes have a hectic friday night rushing from sch to taekwondo b4 coming home again to the dark hdb flat where my sisters and parents only come home after 11. u completed my day,kianhow.thank u. even as a bestie,u held on tightly to my hand and lay a gentle kiss at it. we hugged after we meet and b4 we sae goodbye. how i often give u a little peck on the cheek after we hugged and u playfully tries to resist it and saying,"i cant put tis(relationship) down now if u continue doing that." well..sorry man,i cant help it.love seeing u getting bullied..by me.hahs to conclude,i dun need a man to survive. but i do need LOVE to keep me alive..friendship,kinship or juz pure sheer innocent love. u said u will have such a "wonderful" life in ur new class but i sae..time will pass very fast as long as u keep in mind that im the first u see every morning. i'll try to be that sunshine over ur cloudy day as much as i can. juz shower me wif care and love like wat u did yesterday..THE LEAP YEAR.29february08 i haf gaven up trying to describe our relationship now..lets juz agree and call it,COMPLICATED. reply my letters!;)my 'special fren.'