In this superficial world,
U may think thats all you get from what you see.
I am definitely not as SIMPLE as what you think,
Neither do I wish to live up to your expectations
So whatever you read,
And whether U like it or not,
It's none of my business to care..no matter how hard u try to make me.;P
Friday, December 21, 2007
oh shit,shitshitshitshsitshitshit!!!!!
i caused him to be in trouble again.
its all my fault.
why am i such a jinx?
is that suppose to happen to everyone who loves me and i love them back?
or does it happen to people i truly love?
first, i got his room phone confiscated for bursting the phone bills at home up to 100dollars.
now.....
there is absolutely no excuse.
i knew i shouldnt listen to him and go for taekwondo..but my fear of loneliness at home juz kills.
well..lets juz sae i had to rush out the history essay todae and after 3hrs of pondering and brain-cracking,i manage to squeeze out 1588 words.it was alrdy 6.55pm.so i called him and asked him where he was but he was wif his parents and they were staring at him when he was on the phone wif me...kk,so he hung up.i lay on my sofa wif piggy,feeling like as if my brain has left me and i haf juz dunked into the solitude of my house.i told him tt i dun wanna go for taek,im too mentally drained..and i haf to wait for joshy to send me the first history essay he typed for me..the deadline is 12mn tonite and i cant risk it...but since he insist tt if he doesnt go taekwondo,he will fail his grading and i dun want tt to happen to him..moreover,if i stay at hm,i haf nothing to do..i decided to go.
well..we went to buy a bread together coz i hadnt ate my dinner and sat down on the bench infront of the carpark to eat.tt was 8.30pm.taek starts at 8pm.
and wat the f***
we got caught by david koh for coming in late.he was damn fucking pissed la.well,my voice left me for awhile when this tyrant approached and asked if anyone was at home,there was no one at hm of course but there were ppl in his hse.listen to the best part.
his father picked up the phone
ooh..did i mention that his father is one who comes back to singapore every fortmonthly and super overprotective that even when taekwondo was juz a walkin distance away,he has to drive them home..not to mention that he is terribly naggy so much so that my dear's mum wanted to divorce him for the sake of the family.???
there u go,i tried to put all blame on me,for saying that i had gastric pain and he had to get me some food and all..but my voice only came back after david koh called his father.
that david dude screamed at us..i was damn fucking shocked and afraid.but i dun wanna show my nervousness or fear.the more u r afraid of him,the more he will climb over u.
he was saeing that they r gonna send testimonials to my sch after we passed black belt or after we quit.but guess wat?
i dun give a shit.
i m juz freakin worried for him.
he had to rush home,obviously.as i walked hm by myself,i began to ponder abt my sad sad life.maybe i shldnt haf went for taekwondo...why did my chatterbox tongue left me when i needed it most?i probably make him lose the chance of going out tmr..he cant come for christmas service tmr,i guess...
its all my fault.
he really want to go to church.been tellin me tt if he meet me todae,he cant meet me tmr and he really wanna come for christmas service.been missing alot of services alrdy.he didnt like that as much as i detest it.
he really wanna learn more abt u,Lord.
i can sense it.
n i really hope and pray that he can come tmr..
chances are slim,im sure.
i haf faith that he can come.
i dun want him to be grounded for sooo many daes,not tmr at least.
no matter how much i want him to spend christmas and new year eve wif me,i want him to go for tmr's service if he have to give up those daes to stay home.
im really serious,Lord.
if he really cant come,i m sure u haf other plans for his life but i will bring the sermon to him.via my blog.
maybe i shld punish myself by stop talking to him when i see him.or when i call him.
tell me,dear..u haf soo many plans for the future and even when we r gettin married..but the thing is,can i even haf the face to face ur parents??sometimes,i juz wish we can alwaes be together,not influenced by our parents..
or maybe i shld juz b ur girlfren and u get another wife who is not me..she'll be the one who face ur parents for u while i'll be ur dirty little secret.
im not joking.
10:19 PM
