In this superficial world,
U may think thats all you get from what you see.
I am definitely not as SIMPLE as what you think,
Neither do I wish to live up to your expectations
So whatever you read,
And whether U like it or not,
It's none of my business to care..no matter how hard u try to make me.;P
Saturday, December 15, 2007
stacey: im going out
mum:ok,i'll b taking ur sister for singing and then,latin dancing b4 gg for another performance.
stacey:ok.....
well..this morning,i was gonna blog abt how i dread my life at home these daes but everything changed after i went for service at my beloved Heart of God church..in fact,i was rather emoish after i came back frm taekwondo.my mum insisted tt i shld continue working when i told her tt tmr was my last dae at banquet.even though it is flexible and u can choose to work whenever u want,shes not giving me a choice here.which mum would insist her daughter to go to work?i juz dun get it..i cried tt nite wif piggy wiping my tears away.even wrote a long 6pgs sms to her which i didnt send.
here it goes:
dear mum,
haf u forgotten tt im studying?well..let me remind u,im gg on to jc2 nx yr n need to prepare for the yr ahead.FINE!lets not tok academics.
U complain tt i do out too often and shld rather spend time earning money?come on,tis is the last few wks i can enojoy b4 another hectic alvl yr again!i need a life!even if im home,wld u even b hm?
on wkends,u b bz sending sherlyn for some pageant shit..now,may i ask..wat has it gta do wif her future??
do u kw tt sometimes,she is not even interested?this shit has even taken up family time.
we can hardly even haf a proper meal tgt!thats y when i had to forgo my mahanas and be late for taekwondo,i will make time to eat dinner wif u ppl..honestly,wld u do tt for me??i feel driven out to confide my problems to frens sometimes.
do u realise tt we dun haf much to tok abt when im ard u now?sometimes,i pray juz for all of us to spend more time wid each other.
u may object christianity but it is a comfort for me to note tt at least,theres someone up there watching over me..sending people to console me,love me and care for me.
i love u mummy,but juz want u to kw tt im still schooling and not prepared to go independent yet.i dun deserve this hard treatment..yet.
well..that was how i felt ytd nite and nope,this feeling wasnt driven out in the morning sun when i go jogging at one of the community parks in bishan.i was cheered up a little when i met kianee but tt was it..
i reached service at exactly 5pm and was given the back rows..well,wasnt very happy abt it coz i wanted to meet my alwaes smiling church mates but things changed..
diagonally across me,while praising God,i saw this old uncle in his late 60s.. praising my God.halfway thru,he felt breathless and begin to pant.his companion asked him if he wanted to take a rest at the back but he insist to sit on for the service.even if he had to rest,he wld do so on his seat..worshipping God at the same time.
i began to think and ask God,its tt wat u want me to see,Lord?finally,i understood..my life can never be compared to this man.he maybe old and sickly,wif difficulties to move abt..yet,he is so determined to come to church,so determined to worship Him.
Yet,wat am i?im a young teenager who although facing Parental Objection at home complains abt the long journey to church and all..this man may haf gone thru wat i went thru at home..favouritism,biasness..and now,difficulties in moving.yet he is so determined to come and praise God.i maybe fitter and stronger but deep inside,im nothing compared to this old man..
i learned alot in church todae apart frm this incident.pastor how preached abt the logical thinkers of Christ.he used to be a very logical person,cant accept those shocking assumptions made by Christ.hence,he struggles to accept God and have faith.
Faith..something u cannot see but u acquire that power to believe in it,by trusting the Lord above.
its like..u may feel that ur life is perfect..u haf a bunch of great frens,a happy family and perhaps,a wonderful boyfriend but do u often feel the emptiness within u no matter how contented u r?
like perhaps,when u r alone at nite or sad and down,u juz wish tt theres someone listening to u,watching over u as u sleep?ur parents,ur frens or boyfriend cant be there for u 24/7..so who could fill up that emptiness?isnt that answer pretty obvious now?the Lord God above do exist.
pastor how sermon todae is mostly abt believing in Jesus.
some sae Jesus is a gd man,some sae He is a prophet.but wat do we sae Jesus is?what do we believe Him as?he made many shockin assumptions in the Bible.
I am the way,the truth and the Light.no one comes to the Father except through me.
I and my Father are One.
I am the Son of God. and etc.
we are then confined to decide if this is true or false.Honestly,which ordinary fren or classmate of urs come up to u and sae..hey,im the Son of God,die for me.??wld we believe it.?definitely not.
this is wat Jesus faced before he was captured and sacrificed 2000yrs ago.If jesus has not risen from the dead,we christians of most people are the most pitiful of everyone on planet earth for believing in this huge dellusional moron.however,if his claims were true,his demands are solely right.
Matt 12:30-u r either with me or against me.
we can choose to walk out of this church auditorium..with Jesus being a lunatic,liar or Lord and saviour of our soul..
its up to us to trust and believe..to haf faith that Jesus is the Way,the Truth and the Light.
hebrews 11:3-by faith,we understand......
this world often believe tt it is impt to understand sth before u believe sth would work..but it would be very difficult to believe sth before understanding the true meaning of christianity.christianity is a relationship,not a religion.God's word do not come to us by understanding but rather,by revealing Himself to us.thru the little things that happen everydae and also the Bible...when we believe.the closer we are to God,the more God will reveal Himself to us.same goes for a love relationship.U will nv understd how love is unless u haf faith and step into one.the romance and everything would then fall in place nicely.
so on a nutshell,do u haf faith?
11:17 PM
